I think the worst thing is that OCD has been normalised to the point where my head can now use that as weaponry against me, that i can now be told that im just “faking” having OCD, that when I try to talk to people or tell them I have it, they don’t take me seriously or as seriously as they should because they say, “hey, i’m a little ocd too, everyone is.”
And it’s like… there’s a very, very clear difference between the level of order that most human beings desire, and the fact that if I don’t have the blinds a specific amount of the way down the window then I will start panicking and having violent imagery rush into my brain of how I am going to get attacked by demons that saw the light from my house due to the blind not being down the right amount, and the panic and fear that debilitates and distresses me day in and day out is not a neat, fun quirk that you can sit there and say you have when you like the colour of your fucking pens, or you order your books alphabetically by authors name.
I am sick and fucking tired of being so afraid to seek treatment or tell my friends or inform anyone of what’s actually going on in my life because it’s like i need to seek approval it’s like i need a printed sheet from my psychiatrist, signed, saying “she has OCD, genuine OCD, look out!” for my feelings to be valid in a society where 15 year old girls think its cute and quirky and funny or edgy to say they have mental illnesses on forums or irl after reading the wikipedia page. It’s offensive to me, and to everyone that’s ever suffered from mental illness in their lives.
Thank you and good fucking night.